Moving…

…to a new address on the web.  You can find me over here at www.myheartathome.wordpress.com

Why?  Just because.

I’ve just been in a tidy up, cozy up, and try something new mood.  I rearranged the furniture in the family room too.   So come on over.  The chairs are pulled close to the fire for the winter – ready for conversation and tea (and chocolate).  And I hung some curtains.  Better come quick – I’m likely to have it all back the way it was by midweek…

But my ponderings will stay over at the new address. See you there!

Touched

They caught my eye a few rows up.  In the midst of worship my mind wandered from the truth of the song to the truth they portrayed. 

She had inherited her dad’s height.  Fifteen or sixteen years old, she was taller than me – maybe 5’8”.  Yet her father’s stature still dwarfed her as he stood a head taller and had a large athletic frame.  She laid her head of long blond hair against his shoulder while her own shoulders shook under the weight of some sadness.   He took notice and without a word put his arm around her, drawing her in.  The young lady’s hand went to her face to brush away the tears and her daddy leaned in to kiss the top of his little girl’s head. 

My heart was bursting – hoping – for the kind of relationship between my girl and her daddy that would lead to such a tender moment in the midst of the teenage years. 

His arm reached behind and around her, his strong hand on her arm. With the other arm he passed along the kleenex supplied by her mom further down the row.  Then the tears began to form in my own eyes. The image moved me for another reason. 

I recognized myself. 

What grace – that I lay my head against the powerful shoulder of the Perfect Father.  There is One who towers over me in wisdom and strength.  He leans His head over mine – a kiss of comfort, shelter,…unconditional love.  His protective arm is around me.  His firm hand on me.  His touch means everything.  

Though hast enclosed me behind and before, and laid Thy hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;  it is too high, I cannot attain to it.  Psalm 139:5-6  

Fighting a cold…

…by counting His gifts (with a pile of kleenexes on each side of the computer and a “to-do” list strikingly absent of checks).

241.  Kid clutter – really it is these things that make my house a home – their things, their shoes, their pictures, their toys, their treasures

242.  Shopping with my girl, sale racks, new dresses, and all sorts of pleasantries.

 

244.  Fall beauty. Autumn’s last warmth.  Reds, oranges, yellows.  Ladybugs everywhere and each one given a name.

 

245.  Little glimpses that He’s speaking to their hearts

246.  Sunbutter

247.  A line of voters – a mix of ages, colors, and backgrounds

248.  Freedom – to vote, to question, to express, to disagree, to study the Word, to seek to follow Jesus

249.  A quiet hour – one resting, one reading, one Lincoln Logging – and the anticipation of more quiet hours as cooler weather comes to stay

 

251.  Simon’s new pet…

252.  Dayquil

 

Jehovah Shammah

“You’ve been having a hard time lately,” I offered.  

“Yeah, sort of,” she shrugged and went back to her duck calling.  The ducks were only mildly interested in the pretzel pieces we were offering.  She was hoping they’d come close enough to touch.  I was wishing she would.  

I tried again, “Tell me about it.”  

She was using her irritated tone now, “I didn’t mean to.”  

Didn’t mean to?  Didn’t mean to lay down kicking and screaming on the floor at Walmart, run away, and then call the police?

“Hmm,” I questioned, “You mean, you wish you hadn’t or you didn’t mean for it to turn out that way or you feel bad about it now or…?”  

“NO, I just didn’t mean to,” she said angrily and moved away.

I followed.  “That’s not who you want to be, is it?”  

“I didn’t mean to,” she said a little less forcefully.  

Breathe in.  Pray.  Breathe out.  “That happens to me too.  I do what I didn’t mean to do.  God’s not surprised.  He knows us.   It doesn’t change the way He feels about us.”

She looked me in the eye now – exasperated,  “I’m asking Him for help, but it’s not working.  I’m trying, but…but…it’s just hard…it’s just hard to believe that He’s really out there.  Let’s go.  I’m hungry.  I want to go to your house now.”

That was yesterday.  This morning I flipped my devotional calendar to today’s Word:  Jehovah Shammah – The Lord Is There.  The There God.  Immediately, I thought of her.  Yes, He’s really out there, right there.  

But this is where it hurts. 

When her step-father did the unspeakable.  The Lord Is There.  When her mother first knew but did nothing.  The Lord Is There.  When she was separated from her siblings.  The Lord Is There.  Moved to a new home.  The Lord Is There.  Moved again.  And again.  

Jehovah Shammah, DO something…

Then it hits me.    

When they seized Him in the garden.  When they mocked Him and spit in His face.  The Lord is There.  When they pressed the crown of thorns on his head and struck Him with a staff again and again.  The Lord Is There.  When they drove the nails.  The Lord Is There.  When He cried out in a loud voice, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”  The Lord Is There.  

I’ve done something, child.  It is finished.

“…He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, …to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”  Isaiah 61:1-3

“…by His wounds we are healed”  Isaiah 53:5 

What I did (and didn’t) do today

Dear Friends,

You’ve made my step a little lighter today, my smile a little wider.  Thank you.  To those who commented and emailed – your words were received like warm hugs.  Isn’t it good – that we can be somehow “together” though so much of our days must be spent fulfilling the roles and responsibilities we’ve been assigned.

And now I hope you haven’t come looking for something deep to ponder.  My heart has been full and content today – satisfied with simple things.  Here’s what I did (and didn’t) do today.

I did…

think about going to the Y

drink in some of the Word while the kiddos were still in their beds

help Simon complete his morning schoolwork in about 25 minutes

check my email (a lot – why do I do this so much?)

coach Maggie through the ins and outs of writing a paragraph that compares and contrasts

accompany Justin to the bathroom (a lot – he’s getting better though)

pour a pitcher full of warm water on my pansies and cabbage plant out front – they were looking a little frightened by the cold nights – maybe a warm drink will help??  Please…just a little more Fall…

take a picture of the boys’ boots – these have been very helpful lately – easy on and easy off

 

read aloud – including Bible, Snakes Salamanders and Lizards, Brave Irene, American Indian Prayer Guide, and a missionary biography about Nate Saint

take one kiddo to Art class and another to Ballet

put some leaves on the wall

Talk to Simon on the walkie talkie from inside the house while he was looking for birds and snakes and salamanders and lizards out in the yard

I didn’t

get up when my alarm went off – three snoozes

do any laundry

make Maggie do her multiplication flashcards – plenty of cold winter days for that

eat all the chocolate chips in the house (just some of them)

make dinner – yeah for leftovers

 

This is the day that the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it…

 

 

 

 

Looking

 

 

Blogging reminds me…

that God is Present in all our days,

that people (like me for example) aren’t perfect,

that there is beauty waiting to be discovered and described even in the simple, daily – yes even in the ugly things,

that I am not alone,

that we were made to be connected – to God and to others,

that the unkind words spoken at my house are not so uncommon,

and that love covers a multitude of sins,

that it is energizing to ponder things deeper than what’s for dinner,

that pondering them with friends makes life more meaningful, more cozy.

When I’m writing, I’m looking.  Looking for Him and for beauty.  Looking for the love that covers and for the deep things of the heart and spirit.

So back to blogging.  And don’t be shy.  I am also looking for you – looking to connect with you and hear your heart too.  So send an email or post a comment now and then.  Let me know you’re listening. 

photo:  fall in Durango, CO – taken by a dear friend who is taking in this beauty right alongside the beauty of a new baby in the house.

Stepping back…

…from the blog world for a little while – at least a month, maybe longer.  Just feeling a need and prompting to use writing time in a different way.  Still plan to use my email – do drop me a line and I’ll write back.

Blessings,

Jennie

Happy Birthday Justin

Little man is 3!

 

Picture Time

Hi friends and family, 

Lots of new photos on my Flickr site (see sidebar).  Colorado, School Picnic, Camping. Enjoy!

All I ever have to be

Today I listened to this radio broadcast from Focus on the Family that was recently recommended by a friend.  A panel of women discuss our tendency as women to wear masks and to assign value to people and ourselves according to talents, appearance, or ability.  The issue of pride is highlighted as being at the core of our unwillingness to be real with others.  

It’s a good listen if you can find a few quiet moments.  Or do those issues only strike a chord with me?  

Hoping this blog is keeping me real.  Please let me know if I ever seem something more.

 

…And I realize the good in me

is only there

because of who You are…who You are

And all I ever have to be 

is what You’ve made me

Any more or less

would be a step out of your plan

As you daily recreate me

Help me always keep in mind

That I only have to do what I can find

And all I ever have to be

All I have to be

is what You’ve made in me.

- Amy Grant

 

photo:  wildflower from friends’ trip to the Montana mountains